I’m obsessed with 80’s movies. I mean, who isn’t. The pure cheesy dialogue spread thickly across a predictable plotline fills me with nostalgia… And a lady boner. So I thought I’d compile a list of the Top 10 Hottest 80’s movies heartthrobs. Everyone has their own opinion and this is just mine. There are way too many to choose just ten but here’s a few I felt needed some recognition.
Let’s work our way from the bottom:
10. George Newbern- Adventures in Babysitting
While George is not the cutest in the bunch, I had a GIANT crush on him after watching this movie. He’s super helpful, has great hair, and just has a face you can’t stay mad at. He’s the prince charming that takes time out of his Friday night and leaves a happening party just to help some PMSing bitch in her mother’s trenchcoat and some kids to get their car fixed. He also finds the little girl’s rollerskate in his car and drives to their house to return it. He is prince charming. I was rooting for him and Elizabeth Shue to couple up on screen as well as of.
The sad news: Georgie isn’t famous enough to have a GIF I can use for this post.
The good news: Ron Weasley’s annoying second cousin does.
9. Patrick Swayze- Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Roadhouse
Before you say anything, don’t act like you wouldn’t want to be tossed around by Patrick Swayze. A man who can dance is a man for me. Yes, their age difference was inappropriate but hey, that doesn’t stop us from having a crush!
8. Jonathan Silverman- Weekend at Bernie’s (on the left)
If you haven’t seen Weekend at Bernie’s, there is a good chance you will never even have seen Jonathan Silverman, let alone heard his name. I fell for him HARD in this movie. His curly dark locks, long gams, manly stuble, and casual beach wear make him the absolute perfect 80s hunk. I actually remember getting jealous when he was hitting on girls at “Bernie’s” soirees. Remember boys- a tan doesn’t hurt either!
7. Zach Galligan – Gremlins 1 & 2
The GIF makes it a little hard to see his actual face but Zach is one handsome dude. Although you need a little hotness to balance out all the creepy Gremlins. He cares so much about animals and is also super smart. Plus, having Gizmo as a pet would be awesome so if we can have a snuggle sandwich, he definitely makes the cut.
6. Rob Lowe- St. Elmo’s Fire, your dreams
The GIF does the talking. Rob Lowe is still freaking sexy but there’s just something about that feathered hair and smile that makes me melt into 80s bliss.
5. Tom Cruise- LEGEND, Top Gun, Risky Business
I am all about smiles. Tom was so adorable back then. Although he is currently three inches shorter than me and a crazy psuedohomosexual scientologist, back then I totally would’ve been the Goose to his Maverick. (too soon?)
5. Brad Powell- Teen Witch
If you haven’t seen Teen Witch, I wouldn’t even bother trying to look up who this guy is. Hell, I didn’t even know his name and I’ve seen this movie at least two dozen times. I think he fell off the face of the earth after this movie. Or was kidnapped. Like seriously, I’m thinking we take this gif and put it on a milk carton. It’s possible he just eloped with the magic midget from Poltergeist that gives Louise the locket. Either way, he is super sexy and needed to make an appearance, in a tank top no less.
3. Andrew McCarthy- Mannequin, Pretty in Pink, Weekend at Bernie’s, St. Elmo’s Fire, and pretty much every other 80’s movie.
You are not a human being if you don’t find Andrew McCarthy to be one of the most genuinely heart-melting cuties of the 80’s. His boy-next-door look and big smile make him so freaking loveable. This explains my sincere bitterness towards Molly Ringwald. And as you may have already guessed from #7, Weekend at Bernie’s may have made my ovaries explode.
2. John Cusack- Better off Dead, Say Anything
Be still my beating heart. The characters he plays in his popular 80’s movies are average people. I think that’s what makes him so attractive is how relatable he is and how much he cares about other people, putting them first instead of himself. It also feels like that’s part of his real life personality too. It’s just impossible not to like John Cusack, woman or man!
1. And finally, the best for last- Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles
There’s no comparison. Jake Ryan is the hottest guy from the 80’s let alone the planet. If him and Marilyn Monroe hooked up in a parallel universe, worlds would explode, kingdoms would fall, the hotness thermometer would burst. Must. Kill. Molly. Ringwald. And as prize for being my number 1, here are several sexy GIFs of him for you to enjoy. I know I will.
Sigh… we know Jake. It’s painful to be so beautiful. Did I miss your favorite 80’s crush? Comment below.